I want to jack off

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I want to jack off

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I Want To Jack Off

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And ladies — want to know how to find your own homemade sex toys? Check out this list for some sexy suggestions.

Peel it and remove the fruit or cut the tip off and squirt the inside out, then rinse the rind with warm water and fill it with lube.

Wrap the sections around your member, or shove your load into the hole, and pump. Prior to playtime you can put the skin in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up, just be careful not to leave it in too long and burn yourself.

Stack them on top of each other or side-by-side and fluff. Lie on top and go to town. You also can use just one; mold it around your penis and thrust against it.

Standing in the living room, rest your wiener behind the couch cushion that leans against the backside of the sofa, or you can kneel and slip it under the seat pad.

Crammed in between, you control the resistance as you press into the tight crevice. Plush carpet, sheets gathered, or blankets piled up in a ball are all totally fuck-able.

You can use any sock sleeve as a cum-receptacle, or when you're in the shower hang a hot wet towel around your wanker to cocoon it in moist warm weight.

Choose the style that fits your manhood and then put a condom, latex glove, or other protective sheath — filled with lube! Flip the open end over the top and secure with a rubber band or tape so it stays in place.

You can hold the cylinder in your hand or wedge it between your mattresses or your couch. Cock-condiments are more pleasurable when warmed slightly in the microwave; but make sure you test the temperature first before putting your prick into anything hot.

Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other.

Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw the squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob.

Select a jar and fill it with stewed tomatoes, Spaghetti O's, mac-n-cheese, cottage cheese, oatmeal or peanut butter. Cover the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, cut a hole and you're ready to go.

You can also turn your salami into a sandwich by slapping it between two pieces of bread, bologna, chicken breast, chicken skin, lamb kebob, spam, liver, lox, or steak.

Grab your meal two-fisted, squeeze and squirt. Plastic Baggie. Pick your size from snack to storage , fill it with Crisco, Vaseline, Jell-O or banana pulp, and then stuff it with your meat.

Hold the package in your preferred hand or cram everything under a cushion, then pleasure yourself to completion. To help you get some new ideas, BuzzFeed asked people of all ages, genders, and sexualities to describe the nitty-gritty of how they actually masturbate.

Here are tips from our readers with penises that you might want to try yourself. The biggest and best Os I've ever had and my hand is enjoying its vacation.

I put the baggie on my cock and wank for five minutes. I stop, and wait to get a little harder, then wank til I cum. Instructions including how fast to go, how long for, and sometimes asking you to eat the semen you've just produced.

The vibrator really amplifies things. Wish I would have known about that when I was in high school. Then I set up some porn on my laptop and just lay on my stomach with my dick against the blanket.

Then I just move my hips back and forth or up and down so my dick would rub against the blanket until I orgasm. Let me tell you: It feels awesome to have both your prostate and your penis stimulated at the same time.

I will start with a dildo. The vibrations added with pushing it in and out usually drive me crazy to the point where I just grab my dick and jerk it until I cum.

Girls can have vibrators and dildos and stuff — it should be just as acceptable for guys to have toys that feel like having sex. Fleshlight reigns supreme, but Tenga Eggs are cheap and available on Amazon Prime.

I'm not enough of an exhibitionist to actually stream it anywhere, but it helps turn me on. When you feel it start to pop, STOP.

Wait until things have calmed back down then do the whole thing three or four more times. Almost like rolling dough into a breadstick shape. My girlfriend had me wear her silky panties one time and I really dug it, so I tried masturbating in them too with her permission obviously.

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